


Deep In The Heart Of Me

by Rook (DallonR)



Series: self-indulgent stucky schmoop [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Amputee Bucky Barnes, Boys Kissing, Bucky Barnes Has Nightmares, Canon Disabled Character, Comfort Sex, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fireworks, Flashbacks, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, Living Together, M/M, Men Crying, Nightmares, Non-Explicit Sex, Not Canon Compliant, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Queerplatonic Relationships, Romantic Fluff, Schmoop, Self-Indulgent, Sensuality, Singing, Song Lyrics, There's A Tag For That
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-09 20:42:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19483648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DallonR/pseuds/Rook
Summary: Bucky has fireworks-triggered PTSD flashbacks in the middle of the night. Steve comforts him through it.Self-indulgent fluff based on my Bucky Barnes roleplay page on Facebook. Can be read as a queerplatonic or romantic relationship, but tagged for ambiguously sexual content.





	Deep In The Heart Of Me

Explosions. Sporadic. Some close. Some closer. Moving closer? Targeting him?

"Bucky, it's okay."

He couldn't feel his left arm. He couldn't move it. He couldn't move at all.

"Buck. Listen to me. You're okay. You're---"

Noise. Light. Heat. Burning. But... no, not burning. Warmth, but not burning.

More noise. Screaming.

Someone grabbed him. Smothered him. He pushed, pulled, tried to get away.

"Bucky, it's me. I've got you, Buck."

Silence.

Steve.

Bucky grabbed Steve, but... something was wrong. His left arm...

Oh, right. He didn't have one of those anymore.

Not a permanent one, anyway.

"There we go. Come back to me, Buck. I've got you."

Bucky tried to breathe. Why was his chest so tight?

Oh, right. Steve was holding him in place.

"Stevie," Bucky whispered, nearly silent. His throat ached.

"I'm here, Bucky," Steve said. "It's just fireworks. We're safe. I've got you."

Bucky took inventory. Steve. Him. No prosthetic. No uniform, either. Warm air, circulating constantly through the room. Their room. Their apartment.

Explosion.

Bucky tried to take cover under the only thing there was around him: Steve.

His stomach dropped. He couldn't believe he would even think of using Steve as cover. As a living shield...

"I've got you," Steve said. He settled his weight over Bucky, and started humming.

Just fireworks. Just fireworks.

Breathe. Breathe...

"...I would sacrifice anything, come what might, for the sake of having you near..."

Bucky grabbed at the back of Steve's head and wished he had both hands. He pressed his face into the sweaty, warm, stubbled skin at the dip between Steve's neck and the corner of his jaw. He breathed in and out through his mouth, practically tasting the Ivory soap and Barbasol shaving cream...

"Stevie..." Bucky whispered. "Steve, I need you..."

"What do you need, Buck?"

Bucky lifted his chin and barely had to seek before Steve gave him what he didn't have the vocabulary to ask for.

Gradually, the explosions shifted from bombs and artillery fire to fireworks. His racing heartbeat shifted from terrorized to thrilled.

Steve kissed him all over. That was the most effective grounding technique either of them had. Back then, Steve didn't kiss him. Not like this. And Bucky didn't kiss Steve like that, either.

Nothing reminded them of when and where they were like each other's lips.

Steve kissed Bucky's scarred shoulder and his heaving chest and his twisting belly. Bucky gripped Steve's soft hair, unkempt and sweaty from sleep and the hot July night air. Steve pressed Bucky into the bed and held him there until all the shaking and crying had left him. Bucky whispered love notes into the air in every language he knew. Steve...

Steve.

"Steve..."

"Yeah, Buck?"

"Thank you."

Steve chuckled. "You don't have to thank me."

"Then how about payback?"

Steve chuckled. "Okay, fine. But not tonight. You need sleep."

" _ You _ need sleep. Come here," Bucky invited.

A brief flash of purple light preceded the clap of another firework. Bucky's heart skipped, but not any more than what it did when Steve looked at him like that, those sky blue eyes practically glowing in a shaft of light that fell across his face from the blinds in the window.

"I'm okay now," Bucky said. "Promise. Know why?"

Steve kissed Bucky's cheek, letting out a prompting, but sleepy, sound.

"...'Cause I've got you... under my skin."

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to check out my Bucky page, it's facebook.com/oldoldmanbucky


End file.
